I guess yesterday all the couples in the world are having a romantic dinner looking at each other with hearts on their eyes. Unfortunately for those in the LDR (Long-Distance Relationship) Club like me, we can't share the same enthusiasm or cheesy moments on Valentines Day because our better half is miles away from us .
Yes, Valentines Day and Anniversaries suck when you are in a long distance relationship. But I can't complain because I have the best partner anyone can ask for. I used to be a non-believer of the LDR thing. I would always say, 'that is never for me'. I tried it once before, the distance was just a one-hour ferry ride away and it didn't survive at all. But when my boyfriend (who is now my fiancé) came into my life, he had proved me wrong. Our relationship started in a long distance thing also a one-hour ferry ride away from each other but he would always come to Iloilo every weekend to spend time with me. Until God helped us but giving him a job in his hometown, Iloilo and be with me. But now again, I will have to leave him and fly miles away to work in a different country. But we are still here, surviving, sweeter than ever and planning our wedding.
Some says that if partner will go away to live or work in a different region or country, better just break up with him or her because it ain't going to work. I say, 'you got it all wrong'. To those who are in a LDR relationships, here are some Helpful Tips To Survive a Long-Distance Relationship:
1. COMMUNICATION IS KEY
I couldn't stress this enough. We are so lucky that we have all these amazing technology in our hands right now that communication is just easy with a few clicks in our smart phone. We have these social media and we can put them to good use-- Facebook and Twitter. There are the YM, Skype, Viber, Whatsapp, Line, Tango, KakaoTalk and BBM. My fiance and I have already strategised even before I left for Singapore how we can keep the communications open. We both purchased a Blackberry phone and got a 3G subscription so we can BBM to our hearts' delight. We messaged each other every hour or every minute if we are not busy just like we used to when I was in Iloilo. We can send pictures of food we are about to eat or this certain item we are contemplating to buy. So if your man or gal says he/she can't make time to talk to you, message you or doesn't know how to use Skype, that is one load crap of *redbull. Even an 80-year old auntie I met in an MRT knows how to use a Whatsapp application. So come 'on, who are you kidding?!
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| taken from www.cartoonbarry.com |
2. EFFORT NAMAN DYAN
Just because your partner is away, you just have to be lax in the romance and commitment department. I have friends who would schedule their sleeping time and waking time to sync with their partner's time zone to Skype with each other. Even if it means sleeping way too early so you can wake up in the crack of dawn to talk to your partner. Being away from your partner is also a perfect way to surprise your partner with gesture of thoughtfulness and sweetness like asking help from her cousin to send you a bouquet of flowers & chocolates on Valentines Day or asking your siblings to bring him a birthday cake at work on his birthday. This shows that you still manage to keep the romance going even from miles away.
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| taken from ww.vasaiflowers.com |
Yes, they say, 'out of sight, out of mind'. It is also when 'out of sight', your imagination and paranoia runs wild. So it is best to be honest where are going for that day and who you are with. Do not do this because your partner told you so rather offer the information because you have nothing to hide. Be honest when you feel sad or depress. Be honest when you feel that you feel neglected and you dont feel like you are being valued enough. Be honest of your real emotions where the relationship is going.
4. SET YOUR GOALS STRAIGHT
Before anything else, both goals must be in the same direction. If your goals is going to the North and his is going West then baby girl, that ain't working. Your core values and goals for future must be in the same rhythm. This goes also for those who have their partners nearby. This is very important if you want to get serious in building a life with your partner. Find a person who shares the similar hope and dreams as yours. If you both have goals in mind, your effort in making a long-distance work is tripled because you both are aiming for something you both really want and wish for.
5. KEEP YOUR FIGHT CLEAN AND SHORT
Yup, keep your fight clean and short just like I want my nails to be. Fighting is hard if both of you are together but it is worse if you are far apart. The emotions intensifies even more. So drop the urge to lash back with some name-calling or things that you will regret later. You are making the distance farther than it already is. So say what you need to say, voice out each other sides, calm down , rethink and make amends as soon as possible.
Just because you are far from each other that doesn't mean your new bff is your iphone because all your do is iMessage your boyfriend from dusk to dawn, not leaving your flat or your room. Being away from each other is a perfect opportunity to also adventure out on your own. I am not saying you date other men (or women). I say, go out with your gal pals or spend time in park or go to the gym. Your partners would appreciate that you are still having a zest for life and not moping around your room, crying & crying until dark circles under your eyes became a permanent tattoo on your face. Your partner will also appreciate that if you spend more time to the gym or going jogging, he will be having a sexier girlfriend when you meet again. Don't feel like you are cheating you are having fun without your partner. Some people would discourage you from having a life away from your sweetheart because you might meet someone else. I think that is just sad. You should believe in yourself that you have the balls to walk away from temptation and your partner should give you enough trust and credit that you can fight off temptation.
7. SET A DEADLINE
This is an advice given by my Malaysian friend: long distance relationship is okay but make sure to agree on a deadline. Two years is a good number but if that is impossible make sure to discuss properly with your loved-one when is the agreed deadline. The long-distance status must not be forever. Because even how strong the rope of love and commitment can be, distance and time will eventually wear it out so make a feasible deadline. If you are wanting to live in a certain country and one of you never even would dare think of relocating for you, then baby, that relationship is going to doomsville. However this is an exception to those partners who are seafarers and those who are working abroad and aren't allowed to bring their family to that country. Sometimes, yes, sacrifices needs to be made.
Yes. I totally agree with you. Im glad im not alone :)
ReplyDeleteYup, the members of this LDR Club is slowly increasing, hehe... Let us outhink and outsmart this long-distance status.... We can do it!
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