FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS

There are so many cultural sayings about friendship that people repeat as if they are facts. “After 30, your circle is closed.” “You don’t make real friends after 40.” “By midlife, the friend group is fixed.” As if meaningful connection has an expiration date. As if the people meant for you are only found in childhood or youth, and everyone else who comes later will only ever remain temporary. But the older I get, the more life quietly proves otherwise.

I think my belief in friendship began very early. I was six years old when I met my best friend in Grade 1. At that age, you do not yet understand what lifelong friendship means. You simply know you found someone you want to laugh with, sit beside, and tell stories to every day. Somehow, that little childhood friendship became one of the longest and most faithful relationships of my life. We grew up together through every imaginable life phase — different schools, different cities, different dreams, different struggles. We witnessed each other becoming daughters, women, professionals, wives, and mothers. Time changed many things around us, but somehow it never erased the friendship. If anything, time strengthened it.

What amazes me most is how some memories remain untouched by time. I still remember her old phone number until now: 70706. Better than my own, honestly. We were phone pals long before social media existed, back when friendship meant memorizing numbers by heart, waiting beside the telephone, and talking for hours about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing. There was something innocent and deeply sincere about that kind of connection. Maybe because I longed so deeply for friendship even as a young girl, I learned early how much female connection mattered to me.

But if I am being honest, my experience with female friendship was not always easy. I also remember moments in elementary school that quietly broke my heart. I remember hearing girls I thought were my friends talking about me inside bathroom stalls, realizing in that painful moment that maybe they did not truly see me the way I saw them. At that age, betrayal feels enormous. Rejection echoes loudly. Those experiences could have easily made me guarded or fearful of female friendships altogether. But somehow, despite those disappointments, I never completely lost faith in connection. Deep down, I still believed genuine friendship existed.

And thankfully, life kept proving that it does.

As the years passed, I found friendships in different chapters of my life, including seasons when I was living abroad and learning how to build a life far away from home. There is something beautiful about meeting women in unfamiliar countries who somehow become emotional anchors in your life. Even after moving cities, changing careers, and entering completely different stages of adulthood, many of those friendships remained. We stayed connected through time zones, long messages, life updates, celebrations, heartbreaks, and ordinary conversations. Looking back now, I feel deeply grateful for all the women life allowed me to meet along the way.

I also realized that meaningful friendship is not limited by age. Society often assumes women from different generations cannot truly connect because they grew up differently or are in completely different life stages. But some of the most genuine friendships in my life challenge that belief entirely. I have a dear friend who is around 15 years older than me, whose wisdom and calm presence feel grounding in ways I cannot fully explain. And I also have friends who are 15–18 years younger than me, and honestly, we get along so naturally. They bring humor, openness, perspective, and energy into my life. Sometimes age completely disappears when the connection is real.

Because real friendship is rarely about age. It is about resonance. Resonance in values, humor, emotional safety, and the quiet feeling of being understood without needing to explain yourself too much. It is about finding people whose souls somehow feel familiar to yours.

And maybe one of the biggest things I learned as a woman is this: female friendship does not have to be catty, competitive, or rooted in jealousy. I know society often portrays women as constantly comparing, gossiping, or feeling threatened by one another. But I have also witnessed something far more beautiful — women genuinely cheering for other women. Women celebrating each other’s success without envy. Women protecting each other’s softness. Women becoming safe spaces for one another. The older I get, the more I treasure these kinds of friendships. I feel incredibly blessed to be surrounded by awesome, inspiring, talented, intelligent, and like-minded women who inspire me every single day simply by the way they live their lives.

Friendship, I realized, is not something reserved only for youth. It can begin at six years old and last a lifetime. But it can also begin at 35, at 42, at 50, and beyond. Some people enter your life early and stay forever. Others arrive later, exactly when your soul needs them most. Perhaps that is the real beauty of friendship. It is not limited by age, time, distance, or generation. When hearts recognize each other, connection simply finds its way.